Friday, November 30, 2012

Hello World

Today is a new day.  It’s a scary day for me.  Today is the day that I tell the world that I’m a diabetic.

I. Am. Diabetic.

There!  It doesn’t seem so scary now that I’ve said it.  Lots of things in this life are scary until we finally confront them and prove to ourselves that there was nothing to be scared about.  Diabetes, however, is scary.  To be told that you now have a disease that is non-curable and will affect the choices you make EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE is scary.  Finding out that diabetes increases your chance of having high blood pressure, heart disease, heart attacks, strokes, blindness, kidney disease, nerve damage, dental disease, foot problems and amputations is pretty darn scary too (not to mention overwhelming).
Many years ago when I took my first computer programming class I wrote the following program:
   10 print “Hello World!”
   20 goto 10
This little program would print on the screen “Hello World!” until such time as it was stopped by an outside source.  For the last five months since being diagnosed as a Type 2 Diabetic I felt a little bit like that program - always falling and never stopping.  Falling?  Yes.  My life has felt as if it’s been in free-fall as I come to terms with this scary, life changing diagnosis.  I’ve attended diabetes education classes at the local hospital.  I’ve learned about my new constant companion.  I’ve learned about nutrition.  I’ve learned about future side effects.  I’ve learned about control.  I’ve learned sooooo much…  Yet I have so much more I need to learn.  I want desperately for someone to come along and, in the immortal words of George Jetson, “stop this crazy thing!”
And so, like the little program above, I’ve been waiting.  Well, I can’t wait any longer.  The time has come for me to stop falling and land - and to land I must confront my fear and not hide my condition like it’s a secret and that I should be ashamed.
So, in honor of November being Diabetes Awareness Month, I’m starting this blog.  What do I want it to be, do or become?  I really don’t know.  What I do know is that it will contain my thoughts about the journey that I’m on (and in no way should EVER be taken as medical advice).  I have a huge mountain to climb just to learn about this disease and an even higher mountain as I try to keep myself healthy for the rest of my life.
 

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