My First Diaversary

** Editors note:  I wrote this on my iPad and thought that I had posted it. Unfortunately I must have only saved it as a draft.  This post was originally written on June 29, 2013.  Sorry gang... **

Where does one begin when reflecting on their first year of diabetes?  Do I only share the highs?  Only the lows?  (Honestly, I didn't mean to make such a literal diabetes reference this early in the post...) Do I balance the highs and lows in a practically perfect way?  (Oops, there's another one.)  Do I then ride an umbrella over London until the camera fades to the credits of my life?

In the vastly complicated world that is diabetes one must every now and then kick back and reevaluate where they are and where they're going.  For me that must also include a look at a less than perfect the past.  I think that while reflecting on my first diaversary (thanks Kerri for teaching me that word) I'd like to invite you along on my journey of self inspection.

When I started this journey I was a little more prepared than most.  Having watched loved ones deal with diabetes for most of my life I knew that someday I might end up taking the same path that they were on.  In 2008 I made a valiant attempt at getting myself healthier but shot my efforts in the foot during a family vacation a few months after starting.  I gave up hope and couldn't keep my efforts on track.  I had tried for four years to be successful, though only half-heartedly.  And then, the news finally arrived that I was now climbing my own mountain of diabetes.

This past year has brought about quite a few moments of success -- and a bunch of failures.  Is there a ... a yin and yang so to speak, where all of my success must be perfectly balanced by failures?  If so, I have quite a pile of successes heading my way -- and sooner, rather than later, would be preferred.

In the meantime, here's a summary of both the good and bad from the last year:

• Eating less carbs
• Substituting less healthy food for carbs
• Lowered my A1c by 1.1 from diagnosis
• A1c crept up by .1 at my last check
• Blog hasn't been posted to regularly
• Started a blog to help me work through the emotional complexities that are diabetes
• Eliminated all caffeine and soda from my life
• Two knee surgeries so I could become more active
• Two knee surgeries left me temporarily less active
• Lost twenty pounds during my first three months as a diabetic
• Gained 16 pounds back during the post-surgery months
• My three oldest children are trying to carb overload me to get their inheritance
• My youngest child cares how many carbs are in items but doesn't comprehend the math to save me from the carb overloading of the other three

With all joking about carb overloading from the oldest three children put aside, I can honestly say it has been quite the year this year.  I've learned many positive things and quite a few critical things about myself and what I can (or choose) to accomplish.  With any luck over this next year I will continue to climb higher up this mountain without too many slides backwards.

Dying Little Key Makers

Just so we are clear: because someone is overweight does NOT mean that they will become a diabetic.

It's truly sad that I really have to spell that out. The one thing that I have seen in the media, on blog comments, etc. that really angers me is when someone says that because I am fat I chose to become a type 2 diabetic. Is weight a contributing factor? Probably. The way my doctor explained it to me, however, is that there are little locked doors on each of my cells where sugar enters them. Insulin is the key to unlock those doors. For some reason my cell doors stop opening all the way when the key gets inserted (also known as insulin resistance). My cells then send the message that they are starving. So, the pancreas decides that it isn't making enough keys to do its' job successfully, so it starts requiring all the little key makers to work OVERTIME. (Imagine the hours Santa's elves are currently working and you get a pretty good idea of what is going on...). So the key makers put in their mandatory overtime hours and it seems to be working. However, the pancreas currently suffers from a hiring freeze and no matter what happens the little key makers won't be replaced.

Meanwhile, across town, the sugar storage facility (more commonly called the liver) starts receiving orders to distribute more sugar. When the pancreas hears this it goes,"Uh, what? We already have too much sugar and we're already working overtime to deal with this!" But the liver replies, "Sorry guys, the cells are claiming that they're starving. My whole purpose in life is to take care of those little cells out there and make sure they're happy. Send more sugar!" And, even though there's more sugar than they could use in a century cruising through their little industrial microcosm, the liver dumps more sugar out there for the cells to consume.

Meanwhile, back at the key factory, the workers making the keys start to drop like flies due to the 168 hour work weeks they've been working. It's slowly at first, but soon turns into an epidemic. With nobody to replace the dying workers the factory shuts down and all of a sudden the whole ecosystem collapses.

From what I understand (and I'm no doctor or specialist so this is the world according to Eric) they haven't found the cause as to why insulin resistance occurs. They have some pretty good guesses that seem to be leading in the right direction, but no set in stone answers. Genetics might play a role (my skin and bones vegan non-insulin dependent type 2 diabetic brother seems to confirm that one). Weight might too (me and my heavyset brother seems to confirm that one too). So might additives and preservatives in our food supply. So might... So might... So might... Well, you get the idea.

So, to come full circle, my weight does NOT mean that I CHOSE to become a Type 2 Diabetic. And I think it's pretty darn rude and irresponsible to say that to someone.